Starting Life Over

Sometimes we have to start life over. It is not always a choice.

Starting life over is a whole lot easier when you choose to look at it as an opportunity rather than as a tragedy. After all, we are still here, right? We still CAN start over. Many times our new life is nothing like the old life, but it is still life.

Lately I have met a lot of smart, creative, interesting people over 50 who are starting life over for one reason or another. We are moving “out West”, retiring early, reinventing ourselves and our careers, starting businesses, working from home as contractors and doing the things we love instead of devoting our lives to a “job” and the acquisition of more “stuff.” I hear that story over and over. It is also my story. I am the Queen of Starting Life Over.

So, who are we and why are we starting our lives over?

We have experienced losses: death or divorce, loss of a child, loss of a career, loss of health, loss of parents. We have cared for elderly parents and been changed by the experience.

We are the ones who have been downsized, outsourced, restructured, forced into early retirement, relieved of our pensions and health care, shuffled off on disability, laid off and just plain kicked to the curb by Corporate America. We are the ones who invested in stocks and then lost it all. We are also the ones who never had enough extra money to invest in anything.

We are the job applicants interviewed by someone half our age and then told we are “overqualified” for the job. Jemez NationaWe have experienced being “under-employed” which basically means being “over-qualified” and getting paid a fraction of what our skills are worth.

We are the ones who remember being hired for our ability to do the job and show up on time, not our ability to pass a background check, a drug test, a credit check, a personality screen and be a “team player”. (Personally, I am not and hope I never will be a “team player.”)

We are the ones who have fallen out of the rat race and the ones who dream of “living off the grid.”

We are the ones who were broken and are healing ourselves as best we can.

We are the artists, writers and crafts people who have always dreamed of making it on our creativity. We are the ones willing to live on less and in a simpler way so we can be independent. We are the ones willing to try alternative ways of living and alternative ways of creating family and community.

We are the ones looking to find out who we really are and where we are going. We are the ones seeking refuge from the storm.

About Cactuslady and Cactusweb

I arrived in Tucson, Arizona from Seattle, Washington a couple of days before my 50th birthday in December of 2000. I had just quit the best job I had ever had, left behind a busy social life and over 20 years worth of friends. My parents, who had a small townhouse in Green Valley, Arizona, were both 83 that year and starting to have serious health problems. Somehow I knew it was my assignment to be there with them.

I was fascinated by the cacti in Tucson. They were everywhere - all different sizes and shapes. I loved them all. I photographed them and wrote letters to my friends in the cold, wet Pacific Northwest about cacti as tall as buildings.

Life in Tucson was like moving to a different planet. Everything was different, including the job market.

I sent out more resumes than I had ever imagined sending out and had more job interviews than I ever expected to have. I heard the phrase “overqualified” a few times and came to understand that an over-50 tech worker who did not speak Spanish was not high on the employability list. When I did find work, it did not last very long.

As my parents' health deteriorated, I stopped looking for jobs and started taking classes at Pima Community College in Tucson. I needed a flexible schedule so I would be free to help my parents and going to school is a lot better than just wasting time being unemployed. I took my first web design class and I was off and running. I reinvented myself once again, this time as a graphic designer.

I started Cactuslady Computer Services while I lived in Green Valley. I started doing computer support for my elderly neighbors and have been working at least part-time from home ever since.

I moved Cactuslady Computer Services to Silver City, New Mexico in 2004 and expanded a bit into more web design and professional services. I soon learned that very small towns with depressed economies may not be the best place for someone who still needs some kind of a job.

The next move was to Albuquerque. I decided to move here before I had ever been here. It was the only choice. After 18 months in Silver City, I knew I had fallen in love with New Mexico and did not want to leave. I also knew I needed to be in a bigger city where I could find employment, shopping, Thai food and an airport. I found the house I bought here on the internet and found work as a graphic artist and disability advocate. My commute is now from the kitchen to my home office. I play my music loud and have dogs sleeping under my desk. Work doesn't get any better than that!

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